Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Homemade Energy Bars Recipe

When dealing with chronic illness, I need to make every bite count. This recipe is one I made up based off of various ideas. It is nutrient dense, lends itself to being modified as needed for taste or allergy/dietary needs. It is a sort of cross between granola bars and energy bites. I have a basic recipe, but then changed it, then changed it again. Now, I rarely measure anything. Thus, this "recipe" will be given in estimates. I am normally not a fan of supplements, but rather of getting needed nutrients from food as much as possible.  However, dealing with weight loss, adding fat to everything was not helping enough, so resorting to protein powder at present in addition to the extra fat. Preparing for travel, so made these to take along for snacks.


Homemade Energy Bars Recipe

2-3 cups rolled oats
2 cups trail mix
1/2-1 cup protein powder (optional)
cinnamon
ground ginger
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
1/4 cup blackstrap molasses
1/4 cup coconut oil

Mix oats, trail mix, protein powder in a large bowl. Stir together peanut butter, molasses, coconut oil in a smaller bowl or large measuring cup. (Melt coconut oil if needed.) Pour peanut butter mixture over oats mixture. Stir until fully mixed. Pour into greased 8"x8" pan and press down firmly and evenly. Chill until firm. Cut into desired size bars. Store in fridge. (Coconut oil gets soft....)

Alternatively, these can be rolled into balls. I have done this, but it is time-consuming, and I tend to look for fastest, easiest ways to do things.

Any nut or seed butter can be used in place of peanut butter. Honey can be used in place of molasses. I am sure pure maple syrup could be as well. Any store-bought or homemade trail mix can be used--I usually use homemade trail mix. Or, in place of trail mix, any combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruit can be used.  Other optional items: sunflower seeds, ground flax seeds, chia seeds, unsweetened coconut, cinnamon, etc. I usually use honey, not molasses, but molasses actually contains more nutrients, it sounded good, so tried it and it turned out well. The molasses led me to deciding to add cinnamon and ginger as well--excellent combination! These were not measured, but liberally sprinkled/poured.

I normally do not use protein powder--this is first time other than for after orthopedic surgeries. I did not measure this--I looked at how much was left in the container, decided it looked reasonable so dumped the entire amount in. This time I used pasteurized egg white protein powder (only ingredient) for the protein powder. I usually use Tera's Whey unsweetened whey protein powder (two ingredients: whey concentrate, sunflower lecithin). I prefer unflavored as I have more options for how to use it. I need as few ingredients as possible--less chance of reactions.  I also like unsweetened as I do not do well with sugar, but also do not do well with most sweeteners. I can get away with some honey, molasses, pure maple syrup, even some sugar once in a great while if symptoms are stable. Artificial sweeteners, stevia, sugar alcohols are all off limits--this is just me and how my body reacts at this time. There are other protein powders out there, I am sure others that would work well for those with sensitivities as well, but these are the only ones I have used thus far that have worked for me.


All mixed together.

Mixture pressed into pain, chilled, ready to be cut into squares.

One granola bar.


 Homemade Trail Mix

1 cup almonds
1 cup walnuts
1 cup pecans
1 cup Brazil nuts
1 cup hazel nuts
1 cup cashews
1 cup peanuts
1 cup raisins
1 cup dried apricots (cut into smaller pieces)
1 cup dried cranberries

Mix together. I usually measure all into a large ziploc and shake it, or use a large mixing bowl. I cut up the apricots with scissors. Any combination of nuts, dried fruit, seeds will work.

I like seeds in trail mix, but they tend to sift to the bottom. Thus, I rarely add them to trail mix.

I also like chocolate chips in trail mix, but need to be careful with sugar, plus chocolate means melting issues if traveling with trail mix.

These both make great, easy to make, easy to modify snacks.

Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Easy Slow Cooker Vegetable Beef Soup Recipe

One of my many hobbies is playing with recipes to find things that are easy to make, take as little effort as possible, are healthy, inexpensive, etc. I have sensitivities, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, etc. I have to be careful of what I eat, I do not have the stamina to stand or sit long enough to do much food preparation or cooking. I also do not have much to work with in terms of budget. So, it was more or less necessity that drives this hobby. But, it is something I enjoy doing.

I learned to cook by strictly following recipes. However, the more experience I had, the more I learned about food science, nutrition, etc., the more I have become creative with recipes, or simply make things up completely as I go.

From a chronic illness perspective, my slow cooker is the best thing ever! In five minutes or so, I can dump in ingredients, then the slow cooker does the rest of the work for me!


I sometimes put the meat raw into the slow cooker with some of the juice and let the meat cook, then add the rest of the ingredients.  I sometimes brown the meat after starting the vegetables with the juice and seasonings. Ground turkey works well in place of beef. There really is no right or wrong way. The celery seed can be replaced with celery salt. Honestly, all of the seasonings are optional, this is just one of my "all-purpose" combinations. Soups are easy to modify.

I grew up as a really picky eater and still have some texture issues. I am not a fan of frozen vegetables in general, but the slow cooker can get them really tender and to the point my mouth will consider them acceptable.

Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Appearances

What does appearance mean to you? How important is it?

I am a novice blogger, new to Twitter, new to Pinterest, still debating Instagram. However, I am familiar with Facebook, though still learning some of its capabilities, and at least know the basics of Blogger. What has struck me over the few weeks of observing, trying things out, is with the new year in particular, the emphasis on appearance, weight loss, getting fit. However, the message seems to be from looks or appearance perspective.  It is not from an overall health and wellness perspective.  This annoys me.  Why? Multiple reasons. One, I am fighting to live life as fully as able, I use physical activity and nutrition not for appearance sake but for survival. Two, I have training in clinical nutrition, clinical research. Media-inspired appearance goals are not helpful; on the contrary, tend to contribute to body image or eating disorder issues.

I have not done it yet, but contemplated collecting the numerous photos I have seen telling of how to get the best abs, or toned body, or lose weight, etc. Then, put all of the photos together into a collage leaving the various empty claims associated with them. Why? Because, it is all marketing based on a society that wants to have the "perfect" or "ideal" appearance, weight, etc. I do not care if it is exercises, diets, programs, etc. All of it is marketing.  It leads to dissatisfaction with one's current state.

Why is all of this irritating to me? Again, multiple reasons.  I have seen people struggle with eating disorders, body image issues. People trying to find the perfect diet that will help them get their ideal body.  Or, find the perfect exercise routine that will get them in the shape/condition they want.  People focusing on appearance, when there are people struggling to figure out how to optimize functional ability to just get through life as normally as possible. I have also seen people striving to find the "perfect" diet, or fitness plan that will manage chronic illness. I am not yet convinced there is such a thing, or if there is, what it looks like for one person will be different than for another person.

I have maybe, just maybe, made some comments here and there in some of the groups I am in that are more weight-focused.  They claim to be health-focused, but they are weight-focused. Someone posted something about being incredibly frustrated with weight and thought that if she could just get weight lower life would be better  That of course encouraged replies in a similar vein.  I typically ignore such, scroll past, don't waste my time.  But, I was in the middle of working on a blog post for a different blog on what is truly important and how perspective influences things. So, I thoughtfully commented with the intent of offering another perspective, without judging. Since the focus was appearance, I replied in kind--something to the effect that I am at "ideal" weight, have what some may consider a "perfect body" but that I would gladly regain the 60 pounds I lost decades ago if it meant having more ability, less illness. I have learned to accept illness. This is part of my life at this stage, so not really discontented, so much as frustrated that someone would be expressing discontent over something so shallow as weight from appearance standpoint when there are people fighting to live. Many thanked me for my comment, said it helped them refocus. I am in no way saying weight does not matter. I am simply raising the perspective that it is one small piece of overall health, not the major focus, and the focus needs to be on health more than appearance.

Back to the picture collage....I more or less have the body of an athlete in spite of the fact I cannot run, I am just learning to walk again, I have numerous illnesses, multiple limitations. Do I use any of the gimmicks being marketed? No, none. I do not follow any diet, any particular exercise type. Rather, I use nutrition thoughtfully to support my body--emphasizing whole foods, protein, veggies, etc. I use a combination of types of exercise including home exercises from physical therapy for multiple issues over the years, some Pilates, walk as able, swim as able, elliptical, bike, pool exercises depending on ability level. I am strong, lean, have been mistaken for a gymnast before when at the pool....I was barely off crutches at the time, could not walk much at all. No, not a gymnast. Just a very determined person who refuses to consider herself disabled in any way. I may have some challenges with functional ability, but I am very capable of adapting and finding ways to work around most issues. I am striving to support my body the best I can with nutrition and physical activity, not for appearance, but for ability to live as fully as possible in spite of challenges.

Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Test Subject

I had more medical testing recently.  This is more or less normal for me...and results tend to be normal as well, even though clearly I am not normal. Current guess is this test will be normal as well. What was this test? Esophageal manometry, or motility study.  Do you know how not fun it is to have a tube placed up your nose, down your throat, into your stomach? Nose was numbed prior, nothing else was as they needed me able to swallow still.  I have an over-reactive gag reflex.  Maybe the real reason for minimum of 6 hours NPO (nothing by mouth: complete fasting--no food, nothing to drink) before this test is to prevent patients vomiting during tube placement???  Do you know how much this nutrition professional dislikes fasting?  I slept most of the time prior to having to leave for the test to avoid being awake any longer than necessary when hungry, thirsty, caffeine deprived. I had another upper GI endoscopy this afternoon and had planned to sleep until time to go, but my body woke too soon. So, was awake, hungry, tired, thirsty, etc. (So, for those seeing dietitians/nutritionists, please remember we are real people and do not like fasting or diets or changing eating patterns any more than anyone else does. Or, at least I don't.) Anyway, so far, things looked normal on this scope, which is an improvement from last scope, but still leaves unanswered questions. And, a recommendation to see another specialist. This again, is not an unusual outcome.

What tests have I had?
Laboratory
-Blood work, lots and lots of blood work
Imaging
-CT scans, with and without contrast (numerous)
-MRIs, with and without IV contrast, or arthrogram--contrast injected into a joint (numerous)
-X-rays (numerous)
-DEXA bone density testing (multiple)
Gastroenterology
-Colonscopy (multiple, I am nowhere near screening age yet....)
-EGD (multiple)
-Esophageal manometry/motility test
-Gastric emptying test
Cardiology
-EKG (so many times, no idea how many?)
-Echocardiogram (multiple)
-24-hour Holter monitor
-4-week event monitor (reacted to electrodes, had open sores, scarred, they had pity on me, ended the test a week early)
Neurology
-EMG testing (miltiple, mostly normal, one diagnosed radicluopathy--by a neurologist who had told me directly that all of my symptoms were due to anxiety, repeated the positive portions of the test multiple times because he thought I was faking it--I did not know enough about the test to have any idea how to fake it or that it could be faked. He begrudgingly diagnosed me with radicluopathy.)
-Nerve conduction studies (multiple, mostly normal)
Miscellaneous
-Salt chloride test for cystic fibrosis
-Muscly biopsy for muscle disorders
-Autonomic testing
Numerous other tests, some highly specialized.

I have also participated in research studies...more testing.

It is a relief to find out test results are normal, as that means no additional issues to have to deal with. However, it can also be a relief to have abnormal results, as that at least provides direction for additional approaches to managing things. Additionally, as odd as this may sound, it is somewhat validating when a test comes back abnormal--it confirms that my body was not making things up, or exaggerating symptoms. What I experience is real, even when tests come back normal. Tests are fallible, do not provide definitive answers. They are only one part of diagnosing issues. There is a saying, "Treat the patient, not the labs," that I find especially important with the more medically complex situations. I would extend the concept further to treat the patient and not the condition, as well. Not all patients manifest the same even with the same medical condition(s).


Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Hip Impingement Awareness

Something I have encountered with several of the conditions I have, is a complete lack of awareness, not only among the general population, but also among some healthcare providers. I suspect part of why it took so long to diagnose some of the issues I have is this lack of awareness. I do realize the sheer number of conditions, plus my ability to appear normal further complicate diagnosing and treating things.

Hip impingement and hip labral tears are something I never heard of until within a few months of diagnosis, in spite of having hip issues for several years. It was first suspected by a physical therapist. Primary care physician sent me off for MRI arthrogram and referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.

The MRI arthrogram is a story in itself. I had no idea what to expect. I'd had SI joint injections before, had MRIs before, but not contrast injected directly into the hip joint, then MRI. I asked the radiologist giving the injection what to expect and he said he was not sure as they did not see patients again afterward. Oh, OK then. The injection was no big deal. No pain at all. But, I was told to hold my leg with foot in internal rotation. This is a very strongly disliked (painful) position for hips with impingement, labral tears, so holding my leg in an uncomfortable position was not pleasant. I no longer recall if they let me walk to MRI, or took me in a wheelchair. The MRI was fine, anesthetic from injection actually helped. I was able to walk afterward, but my hip felt funny, so I took the elevator back to main level, but by the time I got home, stairs were no big deal, so got my swimming stuff, went back to work, then to the pool, swam laps--no pain in hip! Back to work, then went for a walk--again, no pain!  Wow!  Getting pretty excited by this point. Well, as the evening progressed, the anesthetic wore off, and my hip got really achy.  I knew very little of the process at this stage, but even without knowing that the effect the anesthetic has is used as a diagnostic tool, I guessed that the hip feeling better, then worse, meant it was the hip itself that was the problem. I did not sleep much that night from hip pain, and the next day was miserable--reminiscent of the absolute worst ever pain I'd in the hip. I was working toward a major deadline at work that week, so time off was not an option. Primary care physician prescribed narcotic painkiller, telling me the first few days can be uncomfortable. Well, the following morning when I woke, I somehow stumbled to the living room, but then the hip simply would not bear weight--no position at all.  I had set my phone down....and managed to get a distance from it, but then could not get back. No furniture or walls between me and it to use for support, could not crawl, just leaned against the couch for a bit trying to figure out what to do. I knew I could not get anywhere, so ER, urgent care, or anything, was out of the question. So, max dose narcotic, ice packs, heat, ice, heat (yes, alternating repeatedly), gently trying to put the hip through unweighted gentle range of motion, trying to find a position it would bear weight. It took me a couple of hours, but finally got to the point it could bear weight well enough to get down the stairs, get to work. I realized that the severe difficulties were a result of not moving all night, as I finally slept with aid of narcotic pain killer. Thus, knew I needed to get the hip moving, keep it moving, to avoid repeat. I stayed on max dose of narcotic entire day, made sure to get up and walk every 20 minutes or so, etc. We got the project finished, and I survived the day! I no longer recall the weekend. I do remember being afraid to go to bed that evening out of fear I'd not be able to walk again the next morning, but that day seemed to have been the peak.  Things very slowly improved from there, but never returned to pre-injection baseline.

First appointment with the surgeon, I had no idea what to expect, what was going on, I was terrified of more surgery as past surgeries had not gone well and I knew this was a big surgery. He explained that the numerous issues with me made it more challenging to sort out what the major pain generator was. To help clarify, he gave me a cortisone injection in the hip, telling me to live normal life. If the injection gave dramatic relief, then the hip was the major issue and surgery likely would help.  If the injection did not help much, then other issues were the problem and hip surgery unlikely to be helpful.  I still recall leaving the orthopedic clinic half hoping the injection would work as I was desperate for help with the hip pain, but half hoping it would not work as I was afraid of surgery.

The injection worked. Incredibly well. But wore off in a month.  I was not ready to schedule surgery, but clearly the hip was a problem. I asked if possible to schedule an appointment to discuss things before deciding--yes. At that appointment, I left confused, but relieved.  Yes, clearly the injection indicated the hip was a problem, but the sheer number of other issues, still made my case uncertain, so he ended up recommending against surgery, and managing with injections instead.  I asked regarding frequency as the first injection was already losing effect.  I was informed no more often than every four months.  This was the plan.  I lived for a year with decently controlled hip pain, reasonable functional ability 25% of every 4-month period--the duration an injection was in effect. That meant 75% of the time I was really struggling, very limited. This clearly was not working.

I finally asked regarding long term management, as I could not manage daily tasks with the severity of hip pain. I was referred to a provider for Active Release Technique (ART), and also recommended to send my records to an orthopedic surgeon in another state for review to get another perspective. However, I was specifically instructed not to send images only, but also medication list, diagnoses list, etc. I was told that if it were only my hip he'd operate, it was everything else that made him concerned that surgery would only cause worsening of other issues. I respected his caution and honesty. I realized that to a certain extent surgery can always be done later. However, once surgery has taken place, it cannot be undone. I was still afraid of this surgery, so desperately needed a surgeon who was confident it would help if I were to get it done. I dutifully contacted both of the recommended doctors.

I gave ART a trial. He suggested biomedical dry needling based on my amazing response to injections. The dry needling proved effective. So, he used a combination of ART, needling, some Graston, etc. for several months. However, after the first few weeks, he asked when my next surgeon appointment was, as in his mind I needed surgery and he was not going to be able to help resolve things with conservative approaches. I mentioned that nothing was scheduled, but I'd been told to send pertinent records to another surgeon.

I collected and compiled enough medical records to tell the story of my hip, included all of the information I had been instructed to include. My primary care physician asked to review, then send from the clinic what I had collected. Then I waited. Nervously waited. Desperately hoping this surgeon in a different state would have pity on my case, think he could help.  I was desperately hoping he wanted to see me, but also still desperately hoping maybe there would be some idea other than surgery. Yet, in the back of my mind knowing surgery was the direction things were headed. I refused to let myself think about it though.

I finally heard back....the out-of-state surgeon thought he could help me! But, he wanted to see me to check things himself, wanted to get more imaging, a diagnostic injection. I was so relieved, so nervous.

The night before the appointment I learned a couple of things. One, if one has taken Ambien every single night to knock oneself out in spite of pain, and one decides to skip a night because of needing to leave very early the next morning for travel, that said person will not sleep at all the entire night due to withdrawal of sorts. Second, with being awake all night, I also learned that both hips hurt at night, not just the severely painful left hip. Oh. I was not mentally ready to consider I had issues with both hips. I knew right had some issues, but it had seemed to calm OK.

This surgeon was thoughtful, thorough, honest, inspired confidence and trust from the start--which I desperately needed by this stage as scared but desperate, had already had one surgeon recommend against surgery. He checked my hip--range of motion, strength, etc., ordered 3D CT scans of my hips, and a diagnostic injection, then rechecked hip range of motion once the anesthetic from the injection was in effect. He also found more even than first surgeon had found. I was diagnosed with femoral acetabular impingement (FAI), subspine or anterior inferior iliac spine (AIIS) impingement. I already knew I had a labral tear, torn ligament (ligamentum teres), ischiofemoral impingement (IFI). Importantly, I was told I did not have dysplasia or version issues. If these had been present, arthroscopy would not have been an appropriate procedure.

The second surgeon agreed I was complicated, but not too complicated, and he felt surgery worth it. He basically told me I'd exhausted non surgical options. Thus, my choice was to continue as I was or surgery. I was clearly not doing well with current approaches. He was honest about expectations--told me I'd probably rehab slowly, that he could not guarantee getting me pain-free or regaining full functional ability. But, he was confident he could give me less pain, better function, and that was all I needed. Long story short, I left with surgery scheduled....and hope. Hope for the first time in years.

Side thoughts. When one has lived with chronic pain for well over a decade, all spine MRIs "normal," one learns to accept pain as part of life and move on the best possible. I automatically took this same approach with the hip.  Once pain had persisted months, I treated it as chronic and moved on. The result was that I quite likely made things worse from not knowing what the problem was, not protecting against further damage. Also, it was oddly relieving to have a positive MRI after so many negative tests. Finally, an explanation for the pain. I was not crazy. There was a real mess inside my hip causing pain.

Surgery. Oh my. Hip arthroscopy to treat impingement, labral tears is a big surgery. I had never had orthopedic surgery before. I had a rocky recovery a few years prior from a simple procedure. All surgeries had rough recoveries for some reason or other. I typically come from a "knowledge is power" mindset, thus read all I could find on the surgery, watched videos--including surgical videos. (No, I am not squeamish.) I asked lots of questions--of PT, others who had the surgery, etc.

I will leave surgery/recovery for another post.  Diagnosis of the hip issues literally took years.  Even once mostly diagnosed, it still took months and a second surgeon to figure out a sustainable plan. There was a lot of frustration during those years, but also lessons on endurance, patience, etc. I will mention that my only regret regarding hip surgery was not being able to get it done years earlier. It was not worth being afraid of, or worrying about recovery. I am beyond grateful I had the surgery.

Image from the arthrogram! I always watch during injections if I can see the screen. I am curious about things, fascinated to see inside the human body.

For reference. Key resources, information I found helpful early on in the diagnostic process. I had numerous sources, but these are a few that I found most helpful.

Description of hip labral tears (Houston Methodist)
Description of FAI (Houston Methodist)
Explanation of diagnostic process, patient selection (Chris Larson, MD)

Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Failure Versus Success

What is failure? What is success? Do they vary depending upon circumstances?

This is a topic I have written about before, but cannot recall where...or when. Between regular journaling, running multiple blogs, multiple Facebook pages, multiple other social media accounts, I lose track of where I wrote/posted what. Add brain fog from chronic pain/illness, and I am sort of a disaster waiting to happen....or possibly already happening?

I tend to cycle back around to various topics over time.  I am not certain if this is because I do not learn the lesson the first time? Or, if it is because I am learning it at a deeper level each time? I prefer to think the latter, but it could be the former (see comment above regarding brain fog).

I have lived with pain and illness for so long that one would think I'd be used to them by now; used to the limitations, used to the difficulties. But, the reality is, for some reason I still think I can do things from before I got this sick, before I became this limited.

I am trying to be open, vulnerable. I am not good at being vulnerable. In fact, I expend precious energy toward appearing to be fine and normal. I view all as a learning experience, learning opportunity. I am going through some challenging times that are making very clear that I have no semblance of control over anything, that no matter how much I know, my body does not seem to follow suit. It is very hard to admit that in terms of what is often considered success, I am failing miserably.

Tiny bit about me that will be relevant. I have lived with constant pain well over a decade, fatigue intermittently since early teens, various massive flares, etc. Up until the past few years I could still manage to push through things. I no longer have that ability. Additionally, my background is in nutrition science and clinical research. This background can be helpful in learning about the various conditions I have, using my knowledge to manage things relatively well on my own, understand procedures, treatments, etc.  However, it is very hard for me to be objective with myself. It is is even harder to admit when things are beyond my ability, that I need help, then ask for and accept help.

I have a connective tissue disorder (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome) among other things. I also have a metabolic condition (polycystic ovary syndrome with insulin resistance). The connective tissue disorder basically means I have issues in every body system, including gastrointestinal. The metabolic condition means my body loves to gain weight, refuses to lose weight....without a lot of effort from me. In spite of challenges, I have had the metabolic condition/weight managed via lifestyle (physical activity, nutrition) alone for years.  However, at present, the multiple conditions are interacting and contributing to my body being overwhelmed and unable to manage as effectively.  So, I now find myself, the person who has had to fight for years to maintain a healthy weight from perspective of not gaining weight, now officially underweight. I have been unintentionally losing weight for months, saw it happening, thought it would stop on its own, when clear it was not going to do so, thought I could manage things myself. But, all of my efforts have failed to turn the situation around. I finally admitted I am out of my depth, called the doctor's office, to let them know the situation and that I thought I needed seen, needed help. They got back to me that I definitely need seen, testing,etc....um yeah. I at least still know when things are at critical points.

The conundrum across all medical providers is that my body needs to move, I am still recovering from surgery and accident injuries, I have multiple underlying chronic conditions. What we are trying to balance, is keep me moving enough to manage pain, fatigue, etc. Also, keep advancing with strengthening and rehab.  But, not moving so much that exercise becomes too great of stressor or expends too much energy.

I recently had sort of an aha moment with a conversation with a provider. Then a further aha moment, when I had a great day at the gym, great energy, felt confident I finally had weight stabilized based on earlier in the week, was hopeful weight was coming back up, then weighed at the gym and down another pound from last week. Oh. Sigh. I do not have anymore to lose. So, here I am trained in nutrition, cannot control my own weight. Feeling like a failure. Being vulnerable and admitting that.

However, there is always another perspective.  It is easy to spot the problems, takes more work to find what is going well. What is going well in this apparent mess? Well, I am getting stronger, I am making gains in rehab, gains in ability. So, although my efforts seem futile with respect to the weight issues, clearly they are aiding in multiple other areas. I am grateful for this.

Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

About Me

Who am I? I am a blogger. I am also a person with dreams, goals, ideas. I may happen to have chronic illness, but that is not who I am. My educational background is in nutritional science and clinical research. I think of myself as a lifelong learner. I have hobbies. I enjoy reading, blogging, learning new things--especially related to health, nutrition, research, fitness, wellness

I write about choosing to find wholeness in the midst of the brokenness of chronic illness and about managing chronic illness to optimize wholeness. I have lived with pain for long enough I no longer recall what it feels like to be pain-free. I chose early on that pain was not going to control me or my life. Rather, I’d live life fully in spite of pain, illness, and limitations. I refuse to just survive, but rather seek to thrive. I am working on managing/balancing multiple invisible chronic illnesses: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and insulin resistance, migraine and other headaches, pain, fatigue, GI issues, joint issues and surgeries. The only predictable thing about this life, is that it will be unpredictable. Life is certainly never boring! I may not be able to change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude and perspective. It is my choice whether to focus on the numerous illnesses and difficulties and feel miserable, or to choose to find what is going right, what is positive in what may at first glance appear chaos, and feel grateful.

One of the goals I have is to offer support to others with chronic invisible illness. Living with chronic illness can be isolating, lonely. Sometimes, online support is all that a person may have. 

Another goal is raising awareness for invisible illnesses, rare conditions. I had heard of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome prior to it being suspected with me, but many never have. I had never heard of mast cell activation syndrome. I had not ever heard of hip impingement, femoral acetabular impingement (FAI), hip labral tears, until right before diagnosis. I had heard of rotator cuff tears, knew shoulders had labrums after learning about hip labral tears, so when diagnosed with those issues, had an idea of what they were. However, I had never heard of os acromiale until first shoulder was diagnosed. I had not known what cluster headaches were. I learned about glycogen storage diseases, methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) mutations, cytochrome P450 mutations, etc. I started to see patterns, explore connections, overlap, clustering, interactions, associations between multiple chronic conditions. I am still learning. I view all as a learning opportunity, consider learning to be lifelong.


Chronic Wholeness
Pursuing wholeness in brokenness, strength in weakness, health in illness.



Copyright © 2018 by Chronic Wholeness. All rights reserved.

An Introduction to Chronic Wholeness

I will be writing about chronic illness in the context of wholeness or wellness.  I chose this to be my theme or purpose:  pursuing wholenes...